Spiritually Being.

It has been a very long week, my wife has been away at classes since Monday morning. She will be returning home in the early afternoon, my daughter and I missed her dearly. She left for more reasons than the classes, she also needed to be. She needed time to think, to find herself in this crazy world. My wife was only about 45 minutes away, worst case scenario about an hour, but sometimes it seemed she was on another world. What she already knew before she left, was that training classes wouldn't be enough, it couldn't be the serenity she required. It couldn't be the "Calgon Take me away!" I hope she at least enjoyed the time away from our daughter and I . The time to just be!

I know for whatever her reasons truly were, it gave me time to spend with our daughter. It gave me time to reflect on my life, and what I have done with it. It gave me time to think about the choices I've made in the last 10 years. The goals my soul has kept alive inside. It allowed me to realize that I need to perfect my soul, and complete the charts that I helped write for my loved one's and myself. I need to keep faith in my heart at all times, especially when it comes to my family. It allowed me to see that the only person I need is myself, and everyone else I  love, and Want to spend my life with.

Don't get me wrong, I'm merely saying that it is up to me to be happy, and to assist others who want to be happy in life with me. I have been blessed to have so many good people throughout my life, and in my life now. I have had time to see that I have been too hard on most of the people I've known, and too demanding of the world. It is easy to blame others, when we are unhappy with ourselves. We must first find our inner peace, before we can begin to be happy, and allow others to share life's journey wholeheartedly. It is too easy to shut out the ones we love, because we question our life the way it is right now.

The ups and downs in life is like a roller coaster, it is fast and sometimes scary, but we must enjoy this ride we call life. We mustn't take people for granted, or look at just their faults. I know with my family they are far from perfect, but have loved me the best they can. I have to cut them some slack, because sometimes it is hard on this Beautiful Ugly Earth. Assumption is the mother of misunderstandings, and doubt is the fugly cousin to fear. Lies are the drunk brother to self destruction, and manipulation is kin to insanity.

Some people like to stir the pot in white souls lives, we mustn't give in to temptation, and be like them. We must stay true to ourselves, and to our loved ones. We must stay strong and keep positive about the things we have no control of. Sometimes life will be what it will be. I know for certain that I'm on my path, that I will not be branded, or lead like sheep. I will wake up every morning with the knowledge that my family loves me, and more importantly that I love my self.

I can see the future sometimes, and other times it has been fear for the future. Sometimes I can hear my intuition like a whisper in my ear, and sometimes it is my human Swiss cheesed brain telling me insecure facts. That is why it is important to have loved ones in your life that can be honest with you, no matter the rhyme or reason. People on this earth are supposed to love thy neighbor, so why try to conceal common sense.

Then I would like to discuss the heart, for it is beautiful. It can feel all emotions, and it can help solve human riddles. It is the paint to our canvas we call a brain, and together it can help our soul grow. The heart, mind, and soul is our body's trinity, without it working as one we can not see. That goes for society, families, and our own individualism. I know that life holds great darkness, but love is brighter than the stars above. We should work together to make our future more beautiful than the Gods intended.

I want to take the time to tell the people in my life I'm proud of each and every one of them. I can see the strength of their souls braking through their flesh. I can feel the pride inside them, and to let them know I appreciate their efforts in this life. I promise to try my best in every thing I attempt, I will no longer do it half-ass ed. I will except life the way it is, and when I don't reach the summit. I will stop and take a deep breath , and try to find the purpose, and approach it from a different side of the mountain.

I wish to share the journey with my wife, daughter, and the rest of us imperfect family. If any body ever needs my shoulder, ear, or my hand, just reach for it. It will always be here, and my love. I sincerely wish people could forgive me for my past, and only look forward to our future. I will one day return the favor, but until then I will continue to try. I know from this week I gained strength I forgot I had, and will only get stronger every day of my life.

This week has been soul strengthening and happy/sad. This coming from a man who is watching his father slowly die from cancer. His wife choose a cold hotel room over his warm heart. Going to the dentist and getting a tooth removed, and raising our daughter. I have bonded even closer to our daughter, and to others in my family. I have found positives out of lies, fear, sadness, pain, grief, and uncertainty.  

I can't wait to see my wife tomorrow, and to spend a loving weekend with her. To create some good memories with our daughter. To assist in her inner peace, and try to let her be. To thank her for the chance to discover myself, and to realize just how beautiful and special life is. To be reminded of all the amazing things she does for our family when she is here.

Thanks,

Wes

 

Tags: Cancer, the dentist, and walmart walk in to bar!