Alisa Amazing

AKA,

I have been looking through some of my old writing, and realized that I would rather say what's on my mind. I would prefer to swing from the hip, and add a little zip from my lips instead. To try to pull something out of my head, heart, and soul. From that I don't know where this will go.

What is on my mind is my family, and how I will have some much needed time with my amazing wife. She has been overworked, stressed, sad, and tired. Recently, she has needed me for love and support. For reasons I shall not mention. It has been a long while, since she has truly needed me.

That alone has been a blessing to my heart and soul. My main concerns have been for her health, happiness, and comfort. I just pray that I have been as helpful as she for me!

When I say need, I don't mean she is weak. If you knew my wife she is far from needy, she is strong, and independent. Lisa is my hero, she remains true to herself even when she doesn't have a clue. When she is pushed by the currents of life's sea, she can keep her head above the water, so she can still breath.

Together we three can set sail to any destination we choose, or when the wind blows so hard it puts us off course. With her in our lives, she will make damn sure we find our way.  She has an intuition greater than a compass, clearer than amap, and more powerful than any storm.

 Lisa has taught me lessons in love and life I didn't know existed. Knowing her has slowly taught me to be a better man, and how to take a deep breath to relax, when life gets me down.

She has held my hand countless times, and hugged me when I needed it most. I have tried to be there for her in times of trouble, like she has done for me.

If only I was a mind reader, I could have been there a lot more, and sooner. I could have given her what she thought she needed, when she could not express her pain.

Lisa is human, and she is a beautiful soul inside. A soul so bright it shines brighter then the heavens at night. A soul so true that truth would seek her advice.

A heart so large, and kind that any Tin man would rust to dust from joy.

Lisa has a voice so sweet, and lovely. For when she sings that angels applaud her with their wings.

She has a way with words that invite the Dictionary, and the Alphabet to come N play.

For me it is easy to speak of her in a loving way. It is our blessing to know her, and to witness her love daily. I know being by her side in life, everything will be Ok.

I love sharing a bed with her at night, she is the greatest feeling I've ever known. It feels nice to hold her tight, to caress her face. One of my favorite things is when we rub our feet together.

I can't forget to mention an amazing kisser, the first time I kissed her I saw sunflowers.

 I could go deeper on the matter, but will keep it atJust her feet.

Lisa is a Super Mom, she has a special gift with M.J and our nieces and nephew too. She has everything that a child could want from a mother, and then some.

 She takes care of our daughter in ways, that I could never duplicate. From the singing to the laughing, the joy  that she creates by entering a room.

She has a love for our daughter and our family, that would make cupid cry.

There is not enough time or paper to explain all the things she does, or all the things she does for MJ and I. I would like to tell here Every thing she does is magic, and is appreciated!

Her love is undescribable, unquestionable, and un measurable!

 If she doesn't believe this line, I would like to say I'm sorry if I have shown otherwise. 

I'm sorry for any unwanted emotions, stress, problems, and mistakes that I caused you, or responsible for!

I have learned that love is a feeling that can take you to heaven on earth, but also teach patience, trust, and understanding.

I am still learning about life and love everyday, and I find myself falling in love with Lisa more every second.

She does not believe when I say things like she is the most beautiful woman to me. That she has the most beautiful blue eyes. That I love you more than love itself. I could talk about her forever, but I will stop for now.

But, I do want to say a couple things to her.

Lisa, thank you for simply being you, and for all the years that you've been by side. Thank you for your love, and for helping create a baby girl, with eyes and a beauty thatonly you could have given MJ!

Thank you for all that you Do! Thank you for giving me hope for our future! Thank you for giving yourself to us, enriching our souls, and allowing our hearts to smile!

We will Love you always!

Thanks,

Wes & Malayna

 

 

 

Tags: love, souls, family, lisa

I'm So Tired

I don't have much time to journal today, but will write something soon. But I will show the lyrics to "I'm So Tired" by the Ruttles, did I say the Ruttles? I mean the the Beatles, off the White Album. If you haven't heard of the Ruttles, you should rent the film "Meet the Ruttles". It has some familiar and funny folks in it. I am a big fan of British humor, and love most of the comedy from Jolly ole England.

 

I'm so tired

I haven't slept a wink

I'm so tired

My mind is on the blink

I wonder should get up and fix a drink

No, no, no

 

I'm so tired

I don't know what to do

I'm so tired

My mind is set on you

I wonder should I call you

But I know what you would do

You say I'm putting you on

But it's no joke

It's doing me harm

You know I can't sleep

I can't stop my brain

You know it's been three weeks

I'm going insane

You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind.

 

I'm so tired

I'm feeling so upset

Although I'm so tired

I'll have another cigarette

And curse Sir Walther Raleigh

He was such a stupid get

 

You'd say I'm putting you on

But it's no joke

It's doing me harm

 

So, from this Knight I say "Neeeeeeeeee" "No it's a shrubbery"!

Thanks,

Wes

Tags: English art, is my cup of tea?

Peace, Love, and War.

With all the political things going on, I can't help but think about March of 2003. I remember sitting at my wife's work at the dry cleaners, watching "Shock and Awe" on my little 2 inch portable TV. My wife and I were stunned that we were bombing people, innocent civilians at that. We watched the explosions ignite the ground, both of us saddened by the bursts of flames, and the booms that loomed those poor people. We had mixed emotions, we were sad for the people, but glad for our selves, glad because we live in our somewhat safe part of the world.

 I have always thought that diplomacy was more important then powerful people sending troops to other countries to fight for unknown reasons. It is more important to find truth in our actions, and to discuss solutions, to try to find peaceful answers to our problems. I could point out the numerous mistakes made before, during, and after the war has finally ended.

What gets me is, politicians vote for war, but not one of them signs up themselves, they send others in their stead. They want war, and citizens to fight for our country, meanwhile they encourage the Blue state, Red state divide. When we should be the people of this nation and of this land, and work together to end this war. Work together to solve all our problems that only gets a mention during election time.  

I feel that we should have peace all the time, not just when a war is going on. But in the house and senate, I've watched politics closely for over 15 years now. It is the same old Roberts Rules, the same old fussing and fighting, the usual patting each other on the back when realistically all they did was agree not to disagree about nothing. The typical back scratching, back stabbing, contradicting, political hogwash.

 Believe when I say, I CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY AND THE CONSTITUTION, but have noticed some political leaders have wiped their anus cheeks all over it. I used to want nothing more than to be a politician, to make a difference in peoples lives, by passing  and creating laws that would benefit this country. Therefore the rest of the world, by leading by example, to encourage great things for humanity.

 In my heart, I'm  still  the kid who used to practice signing his name over and over. The same kid who used to practice waving and shaking hands with every one I came in contact with. As a kid I knew that those were things a politician or President would do on a daily basis. The reason I most likely wouldn't is there is to much corruption, mudslinging, and too much hate. It would be to much like "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" for me, I know I can help people more by not being in politics.

I enjoy helping others any chance I get. It hurts me that sometimes I can't help an old couple change a flat, assist the car stuck in traffic, or take the time to help a homeless person. Helping a person without a home is much different then tossing some change at them, I believe the people who truly want help, would rather have change in their luck or life, over a blanket and a couple bucks. I'm sure families who struggle to survive would rather have doors open, rather than get in line to get your rations. What this country needs in is better education, better opportunity,  more peace, and more love.

We live in a rat race world, but we don't have to be rats. I know from experience that our own lives are limited by our own short comings, and our own struggles. I know Life is what it is sometimes, I know that millions of good people feel as I do. We do the best we can with what tools life provides, we do the best we can in our paths in life. All I wish is that society wouldn't be afraid to pay it forward, to stand up for our fellow man,  to take their hands and help them out of the mud.

I wish society would learn some of the lessons I learned early on in my life. Without having to go through the pain, the emotions, and harsh reality's. If we could all put ourselves in other peoples shoes, I feel people would be nicer. We would have more patience, and acceptance for each other. We would have a better understanding of the burdens of others and maybe discover they are humans like us.

I just realized that I'm seemingly preaching to myself!  There is a  saying  "Don't preach to the choir". So, now my question is can "we preach to the preacher"? 

Right now,  I have a song in my head, it is "I'm so tired" by the Beatles, off the White Album. I only know some of the words right now, I could get the disc but it would wake the baby up. I hope you know what song I'm talking about, if not I will put the lyrics on one of my future blogs. I wish to say thank you, and I love you to my family.

Before I go I would like to share one of my first poems I wrote.

Peace:

The United States we vote for representatives and candidates.

We vote for people to prevent wars.

So why do we go into war ?

Why can't we have peace?

For we our the people of this nation, of this land.

So let's all give a helping hand and put a stop to war.

Let us bring war to a stand.

Make peace be our demand!

 3/21/91

 

. I wish society would wake up and stop all wars. For the sake of the future, I wish this war on the Earth would cease. Without the Earth there would be no life!

"The Earth does not belong to us.""We belong to the Earth."  - Chief Seattle..

Peace, Love, and Happiness to all,

Wes
Tags: If we could all get a peace, the world would be a better place!

An Insomniacs Ramble.

Every since I was a kid I have struggled with insomnia. Sometimes my dad would even let me stay up later than my two siblings, for he knew it was tough on me. We would stay up and watch UHF, they would play the Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, old movies, and my favorite show as a kid, Doctor Who. I even watch the new one that's on now, go ahead call me a dork. I also watched Quantum Leap, and the Incredible Hulk too. 

Here I go again drifting off my point about insomnia. I really don't know why, being a kid I shouldn't of had too much to worry about. Maybe I did and just can't remember the things that troubled me. I do remember the Nightmare On Elm Street films bothering me, especially having my older brother on the bottom bunk, repeating 1,2 Freddy's going to get you. 3, 4 lock the door, you know the song in which I speak. Then he would wrap the bunk bed, and I would scream like a ban chi in the middle of the night. Sometimes waking my parents on a work night, and my school night. That usually didn't please them to much.

 I do remember another time my brother Don was teasing me about the movie Poltergeist, when something fell and hit the closet door,  and then we both screamed. Needless to say he let up on me about that film and I was pleased at whatever did happen in the closet. It was rare, my older brother was scared too, it made me feel avenged for all the times he taunted me.

I don't have time to recall all the pranks, goofs, and fibs he had pulled. I know I was discussing lack of sleep, but it is fun to talk of him again. You see there are people who try to be funny, and people who can be funny, but he was one us of those special people who could be funny in his sleep. Don reminded me of Jim Carey, Eddie Murphy, Jack Benny, and Sid Ceaser rolled into one person.

We had bad times and good times. Overall he was my protector,best friend, teacher, and sometimes my parent. He taught me how to do many things my parents didn't have the time or patience to do. Although, I remember asking girls out for him on the phone, when he was too shy. I  remember going door to door for him when we sold Watkins products for school, he was strong but very shy as a kid.

 I was polite and simple as a child. I was born with a hole in my heart, it did close eventually. The sad fact was growing up my parents were told I would be a little slow, a result from the hole in my heart? I will admit it took time, practice, patience, and the will to be like the other kids. I forget what grade it was when I didn't have such a hard time anymore and felt enough like the other kids. I don't mean I was in special head, but maybe I should have been. It all turned out well for the most part, but I do know that today I still struggle with mild dyslexia and that it can interfere with my days sometimes.

So, for anyone who can't stand grammar laced with errors, please bare with me. I will get around to correcting them when I find the time. Trust me when I say I'll try the best I can. It is usually early in the morning when I'm tired and at my worst. I have to journal at these hours because of my life being the way it is right now.

Not to forget my problem of insomnia, it is just the fact that life is what it is sometimes. Handling it the best we can might be the only thing we can do about it. Still I remain faithful, and optimistic about life, about family, and my dreams.

If you want to know a little something about me as a child, when I was 2 yrs. old or so   I watched the Incredible Hulk. I would have my hulk jammies on and pick up this plastic chair over my head and growl "hulk mad!" then toss it on the ground. My parents thought it was cute and snapped a couple pictures. I have the photos in one of my albums in the chest.

I used to want to be Archeologist, like one of my other heroes Indiana Jones. I had the official hat, a coat, and a whip. I would make my cousin Brock play that when he came over, and he hated being Short round. We got in trouble once for taking some crystal stones off an antique lamp that was my Grandmas, and once more for digging an excavation site around the gas tank and exposing the pipes. WHOOPS! I didn't know any better I was under 6 years old.

When I was a kid I loved baseball, and even dreamed of playing in the World Series. My brother loved the Cards, my sister the Cubbies, and I the New York Met's. I got questioned by many people on how a kid from Illinois could like the Met's. Or they would say "Why not the Yankees instead?".  It is simple, my brother said I couldn't like the same team as him, my sister the same thing, but what they didn't know is I secretly rooted for their teams, but I couldn't when they played the Met's.

My two favorite players were D. Strawberry, and Doc Gooden. Boy I sure could pick um or what, both players ended up getting arrested for drugs and other things. It was a shame Dwight Gooden was a very young kid when he started in the pros and had the talent of many of the greats. They did do well for a couple years, and even made it to the series, and won it in 1986. I was amazed by them., to this day I still can name all the players on that team, but will spare you . That was pre-strike, when tickets were reasonable, Harry Carey sang, and  the World Series was over by my birthday in the First week of October. 

I was a 1980's kid, I collected Garbage Pale kids, wore a Don Johnson suit from Miami Vice, and a Knight rider big wheel..We listened to Dance music while we played B-ball, and  I would perfect my free throws for when I would play for the Chicago Bulls.You heard me, that's what I said "Chump" "The Buuullls". My brother and I used to pretend to be Jordan and Pippen when we would shoot hoops. We were Montana and Rice when we would throw a football.

 I was, and still am a big sports fan. I like just about all sports, but only have time to watch Basketball, Football, and some Baseball. I would prefer to go to a concert or to see a stand up comic, rather than pay all that money to go to a game. When my wife and I could watch it at home on the couch peacefully together. Don't get me wrong I would still jump on the chance to see a Bulls game or a Pro football game, because I have never been to either.

 I just realized the time! My wife will be getting up for work soon, also meaning the baby could get up early again, if  don't get the alarm first. So, I say this to all who reads this rambling insomniacs journal thank you, and have a splendid day and a "Marvelous" evening. 

Thanks for stopping by my little corner of  the cyber world,

 Wes

 

Tags: Insomnia, sports, UHF,and my inner dork

Just think about flowers.

I went to my family gathering today and it was pleasant, we ate, took some pictures. My wife and I played with kids, we went to the swingset and they went down the slide. My sister and her daughter Teeter Tottered. I blew bubbles for our daughter and my wife and I went for a ride together on a golf cart. 

My Grandfather and his wife Charlotte showed up unexpectedly making it even better for my father today.We sat in the screened in porch and discussed family, the weather, and my dads cancer. He is letting the grand kids know enough about his sickness, but hasn't told them it is cancer yet. I remain optimistic, but use my strength not to be too sad. But life is what it is sometimes!    

This week I've noticed all the beautiful butterfly's out and about. They fly and play around the sunflowers by the garden. They flutter and dance in the air by the fields and everywhere. I think of a couple of my poems when I think of butterfly's and flowers. I think of life when I think of flowers, and I recall something my wife's father said. When she was younger he told her when she was having a bad day "just to think about flowers."

To me flowers are similar to life, they both our beautiful. They grow with roots, and do better with sunshine. Both require the quenching of thirst, and when it rains it causes growth. We are born to grow free to sway in the winds that blow and spread our seeds. Then life cuts short and puts us in a vase so others can admire our beauty, while we slowly wilt away. 

From the second we are born we are dying .

Time casts its shadow over life.

Father time continues in full circle.

Life's hands fold as hands do with prayer.

Picture on hand as life.

The other hand as death.

When you pray to your god.

Realize despite all cries. 

They are joined together.

So I ask can courage cover the eyes of fear?

 We are born to die.        

 Acceptance and faith is key. 

The body is motionless, but is now free.  

 

Now I will read the poem that I think of when I see butterflies.

 

To walk in the presence of beauty.

To clearly see. 

Let your mind go free.

Visualize a butterfly. 

Starting off as a common crawler. 

Transforming into a weightless wonder.

To venture above in the unclean air.

Gathering pollen from the centers of fruitful flowers.

To live with natures powers.

Acknowledge ones stability.

Ones actions. 

To gain peace and establish self purpose.

We must accomplish goals. 

I am getting really tired and probably don't make to mush sense right now. So I will say thank you to all my loved ones for everything you do for me . Thank you to all the good people in this world for trying to make it a better place for me and my family.

Peace and Love to all,

Wes

                                                                                                                

Tags: Photos, butterfly', faith, love.

Tick tock goes the clock.

............WARNING THIS HAS POLITICAL ISSUES INCLUDED.......

 

Last night I took the time to write a comment on AOL news stories pertaining to Obama and Biden. Only to stubbornly attempt to post it for over 2 hours,  and to no avail. So tonight went back to read the story about Obama coming to Springfield today. I attempted to post a short but sweet comment and it posted but with no text?

I wanted to go see Obama today, but the paper said you could not take bags and that wouldn't work taking our 17 month old MJ. It was only about 15 minutes away, but it was 90 degrees out today and crowded. I spoke to a stranger who went today and they said at least 35,000 people showed up and they were pinned in. No thank you! I stayed home with my wife and daughter. I went a cut some okra and eggplant out of the garden before it lightly rained.

I'm going to fry some up tomorrow and make eggplant parmesan for supper, but first I will fry the okra for lunch. I'm debating if I should eat it with the rest of my homemade pizza or make something else with it. There are people who eat to live and those who live to eat, I am the one who lives to eat. Speaking of eating, I almost forgot we are going to a cookout and getting a family picture done.

A few of my family members are gathering for love and support. To enjoy the good weather, company,conversation, and the FOOD!   It has been stressed by some, to take photos before my dads cancer changes his appearance, and robs him of his strength. My father and I had a good talk this morning, about life, about love, family, and our futures. It was nice, because we haven't always been the type to talk for long periods at a time. Growing up we would go to museums, libraries, movies, and ballgames, which I loved but for most of it silence was key.

My wife has been sick this weekend, and hasn't been able to do much, but I feel we have done the best we can to make our days pleasant. I just hope she gets to feeling better before she goes back to work this Monday. I have been a cooking fool lately, I have made pancakes, scrabbled eggs, cinnamon toast this morning. Home made Pizza last night and Sloppy joes today with tater tots for these our some of my wife's favorite things. I know most of these things are not complicated, but try it with a baby who has learned how to walk and is at your feet most of the time. Getting into everything that she is not supposed to and testing her limits with you.

I'm not complaining or patting myself on the back for people do it all the time. I am just proud of the fact that I have a loving family to do things for. No matter if it is laundry, shopping, paying bills, and whatever life has me do. I know I have been truly blessed to have people in my life as good as my loved ones and to spend the time with our daughter.

 It is hard sometimes to tell my wife things like that, because she is stuck at work most of the time. She feels left out, which is natural, she spent more time with M.J than me . You have to account for all the months inside her belly, plus months after when I worked full time. Now  I"m  "Mr. MOM" , and proud of it! I know it won't last forever, and soon I too will feel like Lisa.

This world is so complicated  and even more so if we let it become out of reach. I haven't been sleeping a lot lately so I will be wrapping this up soon, but before I do I would like to share the comment that I wasn't able to post.

 

It is almost amusing to read most of this dribble, because some of you are missing the big picture. We have people in the white house that have helped contribute to us trying to survive, in one of the worst times in our country's history. When people use gender, race, and prejudice it is wrong. For example Obama Hussein.

Here's a message to H. Clinton supporters, give it up she will not be president this time. My choices rarely get a mention, let alone the chance to be president. She was one of my choices and Obama wasn't even close to her on my list. And for all the people who can't find real reasons why he shouldn't be President. Try looking for them, it is not too hard. Go meet him and ask him a question like I did. By doing so I discovered he didn't agree environmentally and care about the future of our children like I did. I can't fault him entirely because most of you don't either, but I can demand that any person who wants to be in the white house should care.

Changing opinions to accommodate contributors and voters is what a politician does,I won't know until he or anyone else gets in. I do know that McCain used to be a descent politician, because after 911 he fought for the American people when others didn't, on many issues. Then he let Bush kiss him on the forehead and things changed.

 Biden seems to be a good choice, perhaps in some ways the better of the two on the ticket. Also, another thing for the Clinton supporters who are going to vote McCain out of spite, go ahead but do some research before you vote please. Remember there is the write in vote you could do this November.

Trust me when I say do your homework before you speak. I can find fault with all politicians, they are like us far form perfect. But I can also find 1 good thing about all of them, even Bush. The mentality most people have is hateful like making fun of someone's speech,religion, race sex, or their personal mistakes. When we should find fault in their choices that affect our lives negatively. The world for that matter, like it or not we vote for a turd sandwich, or a giant dush bag. So come this Election in November vote with your heart, mind, soul, and our future.

I know this is larger than a comment but it was how I felt reading other comments. All they do is fight each other and criticize. I don't even know why I bother reading them.

 

Thanks for listening,

Wes

Tags: Food, family, politics, .

Breathing the best I can.

I have had a good couple days spending time with one of my nieces C.D and M.J. We went to the zoo in Springfield and spent about three hours looking at the animals. In reality the zoo is small and the Australian section was closed. I would take most people about an hour to see everything but we took it slow.

The weather was fine and the kids looked happy. I really love monkeys so we hung around them for quite a while, the made our way to the bears from Asia. The last time I saw them was the fathers day before last, and they were sleeping. Thank goodness this time they were alert, playing, walking, and even cuddled and kissed.

 It was relaxing to take the kids to see hawks, eagles, owls, and vultures. I love birds of prey! As a kid I was able to nurse a Turkey Vulture back to good health and into the wild. It had a broken wing and needed help, so our conservation friend called us to mend its wing. I will be honest it was the most ugly-beautiful creature I had ever seen. We hadit for only a short while but I grew fond of its company, still I was relieved it could be returned to the wild.

My wife and I both agree to be caged and not free is overall wrong,  Don't get me wrong due to the worlds circumstances some animals would nearly be extinct if  were not for zoos and sanctuaries. So I am a little conflicted to see any animal in a cage, but I except it.

Now back to our good day we saw 2 young bobcats play, they our truly gorgeous cats. Its hard to believe not even twenty years ago I saw many running free in Illinois, but now a rarity. We saw 3 Red fox and CD was impressed she said they were pretty that she wished could have one. Then went on to say she would take all of them for pets or friends, after all she is only 7 yrs. old. I agreed with her saying I wish one day I could get a big piece of land and invite them all to stay with us. My mind started to drift and my words caused me to feel like I was in Mice of Men. "I'm gonna live off the fat of the land."  I was waiting for her to say can I tend to the rabbits Uncle Wes?

 Don't worry I haven't forgot my lovely daughter  M.J she was amazed by all,  the wolverines that circled and played in the water fall even coming up to the glass. The peacocks, ducks, swans, and even the goats until one came too close. We all three laughed and smiled feeding them as they made their goat sounds "Baaahhhaaaaa". My daughter was excited to see the leaping lemurs, "we were feeling lemurish, lemurish" "Leap, Leap,Leap!". Its off of Zooboomafoo a show off the T.V and Zaboo is one of favorite things.

She loved the spider monkeys that played and came up to us trying to kiss her. The monkey that  came right up to us, I played the staring contest like on Late Night withe Conan O'Brien years ago. Guess what I WON! "Nanner nanner " no I don't like to brag . It was a tie we both gave up to look at the kids smiles and listen to their laughs. So all the other animals don't feel left out I would like to Thank them, and their keepers, and my family, who else am I forgetting  the director...My agent and the zoo God... Now you hear music.... I want to thank the guild and the academy.. Then you all kick me off  the computer and I cover my face in shame. 

No, on a serious note we had a great day sitting in the shade drinking frozen slushies without straws or spoons because 'people throw them down on the ground."  So we walked around with blue and red lips admiring the rest of the zoo. We past the Australian section and I wished it were open but maybe next time. I was a little relieved so I wouldn't,t have to utter the words " A dingo ate my baby!"  Ha ha ha... To make this story short, we ate food in the shade on a bench and fed the birds. We left the zoo a little educated and had fun doing it.M.J. said many new words and C.D got to spend time with her cousin and I.

Do you remember how  I  said  we went there on Fathers day 2007? That was when mom, M.J and I  had a wonderful time and she first said "I love you daddy!" This time Lisa wasn't here and I missed her the whole time wishing I could have traded her places or have her with us by our side. Good thing I taped it, sent pictures by phone , and took pictures. Drew sketches, painted a mural, and taped a reenactment so mom could see how our day went.

I can't wait for the weekend so we can do something fun together and relax. I must go for now, I have an early Dentist appointment and I have no choice but to take M.J with me while they pull a tooth out. I am really hoping it goes well. I could go outside and do a rain dance so mom will get rained out at work. No it will be fine I'm more worried about my father he has his first chemotherapy treatment tomorrow at the same time as my dental appointment.

So,no worries about me, my day is just Walmart and the dentist 2 of my favorite things. This is just the beginning of life for us all including my dad. That is why we stay positive and hope, pray, and breath. You know and I know "Life is what it is sometimes."

 

Thanks for Listening,

 

Wes
Tags: The Animals We Gotta Get outa this place

A ticket to ride

It started on Saturday we made our way out of town on the interstate heading toward Chicago. But not to the Windy City but a much smaller town called Union it has the Illinois Railway Museum. My wife, daughter and I are on our way to see the little blue tank engine named Thomas. I had been planning it for months, you see out of most of the children's programming on television our child loves Thomas.

 It is refreshing to just get out town for a couple days and to be able to spend it with two of the greatest people on earth makes it even more joyous. We made it all the way to Dekalb, IL  at about 8:30 PM and we decided it was close enough to the museum to stop and get a hotel. The first one was all filled up so we made our way to the next one racing a white mini van and hoping there would still be rooms left because the last hotel said there were only 7 rooms an hour ago. Thank goodness the mini van man wanted a hot tub or we would have had to keep searching.

It was no big deal but try the simplest tasks with a 16 month old baby, she was grumpy, tired and hungry. So we loaded up our arms and child up to the third floor to no.317. And she was off., M.J just recently she started walking and when I say walking she speed walks with good balance, but when she is tired she drops. It was all good but I know hotels have high use carpets and wonder what stains remain hidden on the floors so I retrieved a a couple blankets and put them on the floor.

 Then we decided it was time to eat and get some drinks and got some grub to go from a college grill and pub. When time came to pick up our orders I left a few blocks down the road and picked it up. The funny thing was there was a place just on the other side of the hotel, and secondly I was carded for ketchup packets, that's right condiments and I'm 30 years old. I returned with the late night snacks and noticed the hamburgers were bloody when we had asked for well done. We ate our fries and the remainder of  M.Js grilled cheese watching Napoleon Dynamite before  mom put her to bed.

 Finally alone time, we had some drinks and an extra bed so why not take advantage of the moment. So we sat in bed and watched South park and a rerun of SNL.  I rubbed Icy Hot on my wife's back side and I finished with a rub and massage on the rest of her body. I held her tight and kissed her throughout the night even when my toothache was killing me.. We laughed and talked until 1:30  or so and she went to bed.

I stayed up a little while and went to make a run for the vending machines. Then walked around outside to burn some of my energy off , I had something on the brain. Still I say this now but I would not re due the evening for it was relaxing and I cherish all time spent with my best friend and loving wife Lisa.

It was about 8:30 AM. and I heard a little angel wake and say momma, dada, Po. So mommy and I got up to tend to our beautiful girl. After doing so we goofed around a little and went to Bakers Square to eat some yummy num nums. Sitting at the table we ordered coffee, juice and eat eat eats. It was peaceful I had good company, and good food. Have you ever noticed older people mainly discuss health issues and the weather? We werewrapping up breakfast and you here sssluuuurrrrrrrppppppp and we know the sound of anal eruption . "I'll pay the check and you just take her to the car quick!" We know the drill.  Time is of the essence when there is a Ten Four back door. Have the wipes, diapers, and extra cloths ready.

I think diaper co. have a racket going on there are so many styles, types,stages but they can't make one that can hold diarrhea? Then back to the hotel to bath and watched a show on mountain gorillas. Then checked out and it went smoothly with 1 minute to spare. Am I the only one who likes to stay until the last seconds to get your moneys worth,  takes as much free stuff as possible and looks at least 3 times everywhere to make sure nothings left behind?

Back onto the road again to a destination that M.J will be pleased she won't even know what's in store for her. We didn't know either because I Map Quested our route ahead of time down to the perfect T. Confident fore once I did everything correct there will be no snags, getting lost or asking directions. We had an hour and a half  to get 30 miles, no problems. Then we circled around a few times on the same rounds making no sense I decided to stop and the local police station get better directions. Even after that we circled again, finally calling the Railway Museum. There is more to this chaos then I care to remember or tell.

We made it on track heading to where we needed to be, The Illinois Railway Museum. It was packed with cars, adults, and children. The looks on Lisa and MJ faces were priceless, especially when we first saw Thomas pass on the tracks both their beaming blue eyes were brighter than Thomas. I was overtaken by emotion a few times  I wanted to cry and eventually did. I will leave it here for now, but will be back to tell the tale of Thomas and M.J when I'm more composed.

I'm back, it was beautiful sunny day, and the wind was lightly blowing. Kids were screaming in all directions. Screaming for joy, frustration, and sheer excitement, and the funny thing is I didn't hear it till I got home and watched some of the video. I was in awe at the visuals and sounds my family was making. Every time a train or trolley passed our daughter smiled, cooed, and laughed. Every time that happened her parents smiled ear to ear.

We made our way to the line for the ride on Thomas at 2:30 sharp, so we have to wait about half hour but we are second in line. While I was in line ,as the music to the show played in the background I noticed adults were dancing more than the kids. Don't get me wrong the kids were too, I even caught myself doing it.  Maybe because kids shows are embedded in my mind from years of being an Uncle to now being a father.

 Believe when I say there are much worse shows and songs to get branded in your brain. Thomas is a very good show it teaches lessons and sings catchy songs that MJ loves very much. Any way when the train backed its way to the line we were standing in, we handed our tickets to Mr. Conductor and we climbed up the steps of the train. I couldn't see there faces but I know there were smiles, making our way to the back seats next to the window we sat down. My wife holding her as she gayly bounced, turned, smiled, laughed, and leaned forward to stick her head and hands out the window. She looked at all the people on the train and outside the train waving to the crowds." Hi, hi, hi ",she spoke and gave me five while mom smiled and sang to her.

We were excited too we had never been on a train ride either let alone such a famous engine. The suddenly the train started with sound  of screeches and rattles and shakes. The sounds and smiles were hard to ignore, there was not a unhappy passenger on that ride. There was clowns and volunteers on with us, the clown even attempted to shake MJs hand but his silly intuition knew better ,so he moved on. Thank goodness if he didn't she would have had a conniption fit. We saw other trains and so many visitors, we passed tents and a restaurant, we waved to all that could see. We passed fields and old farm houses and saw butterflies and birds while all our hearts sang inside. It was only 20 minutes but it will last forever in my mind. I didn't want it to end and neither did my family.

We made our way through the crowd, to the front where Thomas was and took some pictures and I even managed to get a stranger to take one of  my family and I. Patiently waiting we all watched Thomas take off for another ride. Peep peep he chugged as he went by and we waved to the happy passengers. It was a sight to see all the children's smiles and eyes wide waiving back to us. 

Now off to see Sir Toppem Hat  from a safe distance MJ was amazed to see him she said to me and the camera "Hat Hat" " Hat Hat"! I  had made him Say to her with my best impression "MJ be a very useful and good girl for mom and dad" She smiled and rocked at that.

Once again it is time to eat eat eat but not just for her but mommy and daddy . I ordered pizza, burgers, french fries, barbeque, and a pretzel with cheese. While mom got the lemon shake ups.  We ate our feast in the shade and watched the crowd pass by. Just our luck the balloon people and I don't have to get up. "I'll take one please" "that will be 9 dollars" Thanks I think. No, it is a giant Thomas balloon, the day was perfect and priceless in my mind.

 Full and content we made our way to the car but mom has to stop to use the potty room. I was glad it allowed us to watch a local musician play Johnny Cash songs "Ill walk the line." and other songs. So we walk the line to our car and noticed another little boy throwing a fit, that had to be at least twenty in total. Maybe they watch too much Calliou?

All I know is our daughter was well behaved and we had a good time MJ, mommy, and me. Bust my buffer I do believe we will return next year if she still loves  Thomas and friends. You never know with children what they will like tomorrow.  But I do know Life is what it is sometimes and we must remember all things good.  Cinders and ashes I almost forgot to say thank you to my wonderful family and to say without them I would not have had a beautiful day like the one we shared together. And thanks to all that took the time to read this.

Thanks for listening.

Wes

Tags: A day out with Thomas, and a weekend with my family.

The Convenient truth

Its easy to love someone or something's in life. Its harder to trust people and life itself. Some people have a hard time trusting themselves and for good reason. If you have been hurt or lied to or had promises broken many times over. Its hard to trust love because people are different and love is different.

A person can be in love, or love another, there is unconditional love and we can love pizza. We can love sunsets, music, friends, and family. But it doesn't mean we want to spend most of our valuable time with them. Like family for example we love them , but most of them we would rather see them on holidays or we would go nuts.

There can be two people in a relationship and love each other more than any other person on earth but show it differently. One will try too hard and overdo things and the other tired and overworked  keeps emotions and problems to themselves. One will go above and beyond and the other will want to relax and say nothing pertaining to love. While the other smothers them with love not meaning to but just trying their best to show how much they mean to them and love them. The other doesn't know how to express or show love and would rather not hear it so often. But they trust each other and know in their hearts and souls they love each other or they wouldn't keep trying to make things happy and true.

Now let me get back to the convenient truth. What is a lie? How about a white lie? Then there is what I call a convenient truth = half truths. When someone doesn't feel like talking or doesn't want to hurt a person or just gives up. Thinking discussion is a strain or pointless. Then there is if you don't ask they won't tell you. Trust me from experience don't ask  if your not ready for the answer to the question.

 Please don't let emotions beat questions into the ground. It only pushes people further away when you need them the most. Have trust in your partner and yourself because together you will overcome most problems. In my case we have to hell and back to many times to count. She still lays beside me at night and wants to keep trying to make things work for each other and our family. Love too is what it is sometimes.

Now let me pose some questions. Has anyone in your life avoided talking to you? Have they avoided looking into your eyes? Eyes fixed on the ground or anything else so they don't have to look at you? Have a partner that doesn't know how they feel or what they want from life let alone you? Have you had a close friend or lover give you pained eyes or faces?

Have you ever had to say the phrase please look at me? Tell you that you need hugs too much? When the fact is you hug them because you love and miss their presence. Also hugs to me are meant show appreciation and silent affection, they always got my wife and I through hard times. We would stay in bed and just hold each other for hours,  never wanting the pleasure to end.

 Has anyone asked you to give them space when you only see them on the weekends? If you have your not alone. I am not the smartest person in the world or a perfect person. I don't have the answer to any of these questions if you do post a comment.

What I do have is faith in life and in love and I trust things will work out in the end. Just be strong, and true to yourself. Have patience and trust in your partner and give them time. Even if it drives you bonkers just take a deep breath and relax. Don't make matters worse just shut up and listen when they need it. Take it from me I do know that and just like life "Love is what it is sometimes".

Thanks for listening,

Wes.

 

Tags: Love, trust, truth, and mystery.

Good question.

I've waited a few days to write, only to become speechless. This is one of those rare occasions I really don't know what to say, my mind is almost blank. Thank goodness. I think instead I would rather go to bed next to my beautiful family. I'll try in the morning, when I know I will have more to say.

Tags: Silence from me? Hell froze over!

The aches of truth can be for ones growth

I will do the best I can to speak coherently, you see I have one of the worst tooth aches I've ever had. It spreads from my cavity to the rest of mouth, up the sides of my head from my jaw. the infection is spreading I don't know why I'm on antibiotics, and pain pills. Pills hurry through my blood stream!

Enough of that already I'm partly doing this to take my mind off  it. Good thing we don't remember the pain when we were infants when got our new teeth. I just got back from the drive inn , I went with my lovely wife and daughter, it was pleasant. We went and seen some of Hancock but all of Stepbrothers.  It was a good flick, but you have to like Will Ferrell. We love most of his work, especially when he was on SNL. We went to relax and have a good time, and partly because of my father.

He had a birthday on August 7th, he turned 59 then the next day, his surgery. He went in today to get some cancer cut out, but found out it was too big to retrieve. So the next step is chemotherapy. They say he has a  50/50 survival rate that's better than  nothing.  

I'm thinking positive, he's a good man and a strong man. A man who taught me so much and who has been there for me through thick and thin and continues to do so for my family and I today. I can remember it like it was yesterday, going to parks. Flying kites, blowing giant bubbles, and taking the time to teach his children well. He is human and did the best he could with the cards he was dealt. The rest was up to me in life, I just hope there is enough time to make things right and to make my family proud.  

With love and his family close by his spirits should be high. At least I hope and pray they are. It's like that Nirvana Song the one with the line "I wish I could  eat your cancer away." Life is beautiful even when its ugly acting.

 I noticed I have had no comments on my blog.  Maybe I didn't set it up right or something?  If someone reads them please let me know what you think. Or don't because I ultimately don't require feedback. Hell I haven't read yours either.  I just got a lot on my plate right now, no more than most, but my own unique blend of struggles.

For all you fellow human beings, what ever your dilemma." we shall overcome."  Until the next hurdle, or the next test in life. Stay strong! I sometimes sound negative, but I'm only stating fact. Life is what it is sometimes, and we can only try to make it better one step at a time. I have always done better helping others than my own self. that's why I speak the way I do , because I have people in my life I love. It drives me crazy , that I can't help them when I want to. Most of the time its up to them to let me into their hearts. So I can help them in the ways they need right now.

 Like I said I will hope and pray for my loved ones and all in need on this wonderful world. Thanks for your time and for reading this if anyone has and for helping relieve some of my pain. I would like to end on this note and to get a song stuck in your head because it's in mine.The Blood Sweat and Tears  the song with lyrics "when I die there will be one more child to carry on" Why because my dad and I grew up listening to it and it is a very true song.  I must keep in mind the answer to life is to simply live, so let us make the best of it.                                                                                                                             

Peace and love to all.

Wes

Tags: Life is what it is sometimes

the crack of dawn

I just kissed my beautiful wife this morning as she prepared for her work. She started a new job and career as a construction laborer. She is a hard worker and is good at anything she does in life. I am very proud of her and lucky to have such a good person in my life. 

Her eyes are blue and green colored like the earth, and they sparkle like the sun. She can do anything that she wants, she is as free as the air. If she was only as dirty sometimes.

We have a beautiful daughter who has her eyes, that I take care of during the day. She's about 16 months old and growing fast, and she's quick as lighting. Has anyone notice infants are like ferrets, constant care getting into things when your back is turned or when your looking . They find something to put in their mouth that shouldn't be there.

Growing up I was told that our kids will be at least ten times the trouble we were, I really hope not!  At least she has an excuse, what is society's reason for being a bunch of babies? For all of those who complain to complain about life or because you don't have a HDTV television. I will tell you this I grew up with a belief by the rolling stones "You can't always get what you want.""But if you try sometimes you might get what you need." I point out you might get what you want.

Tell me what do you think, does chance favor the prepared mind like somebody famous once said? Did the egg or the chicken come first? I don't care lets crack it open and have some breakfast. You bring the bacon and I will bring the whole wheat bread and lets make some toast. 

In the history of life I wouldn't of wanted to be person who looked at a cow and her teats and said I'm going to suck on those, I  bet that person was very surprised. Who ever it was, thanks to you for being curious freak. "Don't cry over spilled milk." whoever said that first must have never went to the fridge with a bowl of cereal in hand to find no milk.

Alright I have an extremely busy day ahead of me, and our joyous pain will be waking up soon, so must get a little sleep. So to all a good morning and have a great day!

Tags: Life is what it is sometimes, and right now I'm hungry

You tell me.

My first time, I really don't know what I'm doing and I'm in a room by myself with the door closed. Using my hands to release something from inside my body. I'm talking about thoughts and emotions onto a keyboard perverts. Seriously I am a blog virgin I really don't know what to start with.

Should I start with my personal life? No that would be too easy, how about  when I created this journal I saw "my cool self" on the corner of the screen. First of all If I was so cool, I wouldn't feel the need to start a blog. I'm just kidding, but see you don't know me yet or my humor. Don't feel bad most people don't get it either.

To get back to being serious I've wanted to do this for some time not just blogging but to be writer. I've wrote countless things throughout my life, but never really tried to publish. I'd always felt it too personal to share with the world or somebody would steal it. I used to read at coffee shops, and to other writers but its been awhile. Don't worry I'm not going to read you anything, unless your a serious publisher and won't rip me off. Hint, Hint.

 Enough of the talk of dreams of my past. How about God almost dying in a car wreck, thank god for seatbelts! If this doesn't make sense, I'm referring to Morgan Freeman one of our greatest actors. Let's hope for a speedy recovery for both passengers. Hell about the world. At the rate things are moving, and all of life controlled by our great leaders.

You have to laugh at the insanity sometimes to stay sane. Ha ha hee hee ho ho! Does any one know what I mean? Can anybody really tell me the true definition of insanity? When in fact we our all crazy in our own way.

 A couple of years ago I was watching a science show on theory's and inventions. It discussed people from Newton, Einstein, to Edison. Watching it I discovered that most of the greatest minds spent their lives to their death beds trying to figure out the answer to life. I'm no genius but I thought at that moment "the answer to life is to simply live"! Think about it they accomplished so much in life, yet the answer was in their faces. The bottom line stop thinking and just do.

 Hell, if they would of done that we would have discovered life on other planets by now, or we would be living like the Jestons if you like that kind of thing. I'll have to leave it on that note for I hear my baby crying and my wife has to get up early for work. I' would do any thing for family and usually do, but my mouth usually gets me in trouble in this life. So for now I must shut up.

Thanks for listening.

Wes

Tags: Being cool for a virgin.